dear journal.

i feel i must tell you this...i am addicted to myspace. i feel like such a traitor to you, xanga. i am so sorry for neglecting you. but you must understand that a girl has needs. i have needs, damn it! and your journaling is not providing me with the same fufilment that myspace has graciously given. i'm sorry. i promise to visit as much as i can.

love forever, morgan

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=

21397379&Mytoken=20050712125352

i slipped into conformity and made a myspace. go on, check it out =)

Currently Listening The Honorary Title By The Honorary Title everything i once had see related

hey, time to update yes? i think so.

hi.

why do i even bother with xanga, you know? like, i only post every few days anyway, and it's never anything profound or even vaugly interesting. am i really that disallusioned to think that anyone really gives a crap about what i say, or better yet, what i don't say? does anyone catch hidden messages i sometimes leave for certain people in these meager posts? my existance is so depressing. and all this honorary title music isn't helping my mood, okay? okay.

maybe a rant will halp.
i want a boyfriend so bad right now. so so so bad. i miss having someone, anyone to depend on. to call. i miss having stability. will i ever get it again? will i ever find someone to listen to me, to cross oceans for me? god, please send me a boy to love. please send me someone who will treat me right, romanticize me. please? i see so many people who are so happy. erica and sam (gosh, bless you guys, you're so good for eachother.) steph and paco (you guys too...<3 you both.). can i help but be jealous? no, i can't. makes me want to cry on days like these. i want someone who is wild and spontaneous and simply crazy over me, yo uknow? i want it more than i have ever wanted breath in my lungs or blood in my viens. and with every single tear that falls from these blue eyes, i want it even more. there's a bit of pathetic-ness for you today, folks. enjoy.

-edit-

Rath Roiben: Oh my Lord I just wrote this big long comment and the fucking submit button lead me to the page of fatal errors.  Fuck xanga.

Grr.

I guess my point was that you're beautiful, smart, amazing, tallented, and very near perfect...  No way in hell will the boy who's meant for you pass you by.  You just have to wait for him, and who knows?  He could be already in your life right now.

Chin up, beautiful.

Oh, I also mentioned in my deceased comment that I would marry you.  =P

(gosh i love you, steph.)

Currently Reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower By Stephen Chbosky see related

....hmm. morgan feels lonely today.

...yep.

Currently Listening Wicked (2003 Original Broadway Cast) Defying Gravity see related

The Perfect Boyfriend<3

 *He needs to have a good sense of humor. He must make you laugh.
 *Sensitive
 *Sentimental
 *Intelligent.
 *HONEST.  He says what he's thinking.  You must be able to trust him.
 *Talkative.  And shy.  At the same time.  He must respect what you're saying.  He needs to talk and listen.
 *He needs to be sweet.
 *He must enjoy shopping with you.  But he can't be mad if you go shopping with someone else.
 *Jealous.  To a point.  Not obsessive.  Just… caring.     
 *He wants you all to himself.
 *He must tell you what he loves about you.  He says you're beautiful, not "hott".
 *He must NEVER hang up on you.  Totally NOT ACCEPTABLE.  End of story.
 *Humble, and sure of himself.  Confident, not cocky.
 *He needs to be at least 3 inches taller.  (Exceptions can be made.)
 *NEVER may he say that you're embarrassing him.  No exceptions.  Unless he happens to be joking.
 *Cannot pick fights.
 *Protective.  But again, not obsessive.
 *He must act the same towards you when you're alone and when you're with other people.
 *He can NEVER pressure you to do things, no matter what the subject.
 *He must think of you when making plans… obviously when with you, and especially when with other people.
 *He must have a niche.
 *He must never play with your heart and emotions.  OBVIOUSLY.
 *You must be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with him.
 *He CANNOT date any of your friends.  No matter what.
 *Must indulge in pet names.  Examples:  Babe, Hunnie, et cetera.
 *He must never blow you off.  That's unacceptable.  Exceptions for serious matters can be made.
 *He must have a mutual respect for your friends.  They were there first.
 *RESPECT.  He must respect you.
 *Willingness to take photographs.  He'll keep your secrets.  (flaws, embarrassing moments, et cetera.)
 *If he said he'd do it, he'd better just do it.
 *He'll hold your hand in public.
 *Thinks you're gorgeous no matter what.
 *He needs to LOVE to cuddle.
 *Random confessions of affection
 *Is not afraid to say I Love You.

...now i just need to find him. *sigh*